follows black leather footsteps
seconded by the pitter-pattering of a fist-sized machine.
i am jailed by your memory
these sparks of sunlight and walls of scented smoke and brownwood-rimmed picture frames
of evening coffee stains and cherry lip gloss
rent spaces at the back of my head.
eventually this present becomes a cage
and i , a restless bird fearing flight,
am longing instead to return
and rest in the warmth of your embrace
Home » Archives » September 2007
Ibang level na si inday!(lolz…)
09/29/07Amo: mula ngayon, wala nang magsasalita ng ingles! ang sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at ng mga anak ko ay palalayasin ko sa pamamahay ko!
Inday: ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman kong itatago sa sulok ng aking balintataw, sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. tatalikdan ko ang palalo at matayog na banyagang wika, at sariling salita ang manapa'y kakalingain, bibigkasin, at sakdal timyas na sasambitin.
Ibang level na si Inday
More Inday jokes
09/26/07Tahimik na nakatitig si Inday sa bote ng juice. Dahil nakasulat… Concentrate! Toink!
Ederlyn: Ikaw ba ang Inday na sinasabi nila? At sino ka para itulad sa akin ang iyong kasikatan ngayong ako'y nananahimik na? Wala kang karapatan para pantayan ako! Hayop ka! Inday: My apologies, but the fact is your glory days are over my friend. I find it somewhat ridiculous, your persistence on persuading people to come to your party that never existed is beginning to get into my nerves!Damn you Ederlyn! Damn you! No one undermines Inday's intellect, b*tch! *Evil laugh* - Nag-away na sina Ederlyn at Inday.
500 ~ GLobe Plan subscription. 1800 ~ Glutathione tablet. 600 ~ Olay Total Effects. 1500 ~ Crocs flip flops. 2000 ~ For Mama. Budget in Inday sa sweldo nya. Ganda nya, noh?
Inday being Genius
09/25/07I don’t know how to cook adobo. This is probably enough grounds to make my Kapampangan relatives disown me. And although the idea of telling them that I’ve cooked curry and puttanesca and other dishes could save my face, it only hits me that doing so would only lay down more reason to be disowned. I can imagine my Titas saying, “You can whip a good putanesca but a simple adobo, you can’t do.”
Okay, okay. I may be overreacting here. I probably won’t get disowned, just some mockery. However, a new cookbook given to me for Christmas could preclude the possibility of being ridiculed and more importantly, help me to finally learn how to cook adobo.
The newest cookbook in town was recently launched - Inday Genius. Served hot and fresh from the printing press, it is guaranteed to satisfy more than just one’s palate but also one’s craving for learning how to cook. The cookbook is a project of the father and son tandem of Obi Mapua (former vice-president of Mapua Institute of Technology) and Waco Mapua (a graduate of the renowned Center for Culinary Arts). Providing their valuable hand in writing the book are Kristin Lim and Albert Roa. The book features a wide array of mouthwatering, all-time favorite Filipino dishes from your appetizer to the dessert. From the ensaladang manga to adobo to lengua to baked tahong to leche flan, these can all be found in the book.
The title of the book, Inday Genius, is a playful but witty derivative of the word "indigenous". The Mapua senior shares in the preface that he and his wife were watching television one morning and the TV person pronounces the word “indigenous” differently and that paved the way for the birth of title of the cookbook.
The ingenuity in Inday Genius is that it offers everything one needs from a cookbook – from selecting ingredients to cooking the food to serving the food, Inday Genius is there every step of the way.
The book is divided into more than twenty sections filled with recipes for each meal time. Aside from the almusal, tanghalian, meryenda, and hapunan, there are also sections dedicated for the baon, mga inumin, pulutan and even native Filipino kakainin.
With over 100 recipes made easy to cook, one would surely not run out of ideas on what to serve family and friends. Each recipe has a list of needed ingredients and the cooking procedures are written in a simple way, making it very easy to follow. The ingredients listed out can easily be found in the grocery or the palengke unlike in other cookbooks that make you go on a grocery hopping just to find a particular ingredient.
More than just the recipes, the authors also provide some kitchen education to the reader. One of the first chapters of the book shares the origin of a number of Filipino dishes. The authors also offer several beneficial and handy tips in the kitchen from holding the knife to choosing the right egg to the pros and cons of buying ingredients in the palengke or the grocery.
Now that one is ready to prepare the food, there is no sense in going crazy over menu preparation. In the last chapter of the book, the authors strategically place an article on menu preparation, helping out the reader in preparing the menu for a week.
What's also remarkable is that the book is written in Tagalog, giving the book more than just a sprinkle of originality and a dash of Filipino character. Moreover, the cookbook makes it trouble free for househelpers as it is easy to understand.
Adding more life and fun are the skillful illustrations and amusing caricatures of Obi Mapua laid out on the pages of the book. Several illustrations aid the reader in following the recipe instructions so that the dish should come out as it should be. The caricatures, on the other hand, make the whole cooking endeavor a light and fun one. After all, the authors write that one of the secrets to good cooking is (and this I really bore in my mind), “wag magluto kung malungkot o may problema”.
The vibrant and animated cover was done by emerging comic artist Carlo Vergara. Vergara's previous work include "One Night in Purgatory" and the recently released "Zsazsa Zaturnah". Featured on the cover is an Inday Genius.
After reading the book, one would just simply want to go straight to the kitchen and try out preparing a dish and prove that one can be an Inday Genius. I haven’t tried the adobo yet but I dared to try the Chicken Cordon Bleu. Together with a friend, we prepared the dish for a Christmas lunch for our friends and what do you know, it came out really good.
Having a hard time with cooking? Simply wanting to learn how to cook your favorite Filipino dish? Or really on the verge of getting a new helper because the current one insists she cooked sinigang and yet it tastes like paksiw? Then you should definitely get a copy of Inday Genius.
Inday Genius is the contemporary kitchen bible that each househelp, or every cooking aficionado for that matter, should use when it comes to Filipino cooking. It’s fresher than today’s catch and crisper than tomorrow’s harvest.
MORE INDAY JOKES!
09/24/07 I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of work that you want. My creativity, productivity, and work efficiency and the high quality of outcome I can offer will boost the work progress.
-Sagot ni Inday sa bago niyang amo
"I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness manifested, extending to that niche where I was given life and growth, that because of austerity I was made separate from…"
-Inday, hindi makatulog dahil nahohomesick
"I am solitary. I find it hard to succumb into slumber, though the downpour of rain should've made it easy. This exuberant emotional glue I have for you, cannot be simply washed away. The multiplicity of what I feel for you is inevitable. This isn't platonic. It's real, true romance."
-Inday, nageemote sa may bintana, habang iniisip si Dodong, ang boyfriend niya
"The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!"
-Inday, nakipagbreak kay Dodong (driver ng kapitbahay)
"Dear Sir/Madam,
Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made an initial survey of current market prices. Note, however, that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand, which we also monitor on an hourly basis."
-Inday, nagpapaalam mamalengke
Amo: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda… ay teka, oo nga pla inglisira ka… Would you please purchase many fishes for this week's meals?
Inday: Judging from your statement I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes", although rarely and even erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traverse the road to the wet market would be: What certain type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day's catch? (Pauses) Aaah… by manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget in this household's quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple "galewng-gowng" . Am I correct?
Amo: Leche!
Inday: You meant the freshwater milkfish? Then the "ba-ngooz" is it!
La vida no es una broma actualmente. El dinero es tan duro de pasar. Puede usted bajar el precio parci mi? Soy ya su compradora avido diario por favor?"
-Inday, tumatawad sa merkado ng isinama siya ng amo sa España
Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar served with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce; vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil; lychee and peach salad with sour cream cheese topped with lemon zests
-Baon ni Junior sa daycare na inihanda ni Inday
Bloody hell!!! What the f*ck did just land on my cutie top? I mean I've spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think I'll have this eewy thing removed in a whip wham of time!"
-Reaction ni Inday nung natalsikan siya ng mantika habang nagluluto ng tilapia
Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this Filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetable has lessened the production in the market.
-Banat ni Inday kung bakit walang kangkong sa nilutong sinigang
Heavy fire that was exerted by the stimulus affect the best conductor of heat which is the steel, causing the "Oriza sativa" which is the scientific name of rice to change its state of color, smell, as well as the taste.
-Sagot ni Inday nang tanungin siya ng amo kung bakit nasunog ang sinaing
Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
-Inday, pinapaalis ang makulit na pulubi sa gate
Allergens triggered the immune response. Eosinophilic migration occurs at the reaction site and release of chemotactic and anaphylotoxin including histamine and prostaglandins. These substances result to increase circulation to the site promoting redness.
-Sagot ni inday nung tanungin ni Sir kung bakit may rashes si Junior
Amo: Day! Bakit may bukol si Junior?
Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
Amo: (Di nakareact)
Dear Mom,
Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moments ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn't enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabbily-run academe. Oh, such an erudite bunch
of baboons! I never thought that being a governess can be such a strenuous employ.
Your daughter,
Inday
Dear Inday,
Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital
nanay mo, dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat
mo!
Tatay
Amo: Bakit tuwing pag-uwi ko, nadadatnan kitang
nanunuod ng TV?
Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing!
Amo: Inday di ba nanood ka ng The Buzz kahapon? Bkit daw umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA7?
Inday: Sometimes people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons, but because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act and it's harder when people can't understand you for doing so.
Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one's body. It is therefore essential that once in a while we take a break from our usual routine to replenish the lost energy we once had."
-Sabi ni Inday sa amo noong humingi siya ng day off
The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium affected the taste drastically and unfortunately, after several minutes of analytical thought, it seems that the situation has become irreversible. I do apologize. Utmost care will be taken next time.
-Nageexplain si Inday sa amo kung bakit maalat ung ulam na niluto niya
Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain, causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker!
-Si Inday, gumagawa ng blog niya sa friendster
A change in the weather patterns might have occured causing havoc to affected surroundings. The way debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind is going northeast, causing damage to the path it is going.
-Sagot ni Inday sa amo nung tinanong kung bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay
Much as I want to indulge in the proliferation of such indecent and malicious information, I want to lift the stigma and alleviate society's perception of our profession.
-Inday, tumatangging makipagtsismisan sa katulong sa kabilang bahay
More on Inday xD
09/23/07amo1: inday,ano gamit mong sabon?ang kinis mo eh…
amo2:siguro gumagamit ka ng papaya soap…
amo1: baka naman kalamansi…
inday: NO!!!
Only BELO touches my skin…what touches yours?
* * *
There are tulips in the street, there are tulips in the park, but nothing compares to our two lips meeting in the dark.
– pamatay lines ni dudung kay inday.
Inday’s Revelations (jokes only, no harm meant)
09/21/07- 1) I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.
- sagot ni Inday sa interview ng bago niyang amo!
- 2) Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
- sagot ni Inday nang tanungin ng amo kung bakit may bukol si Junior.
- 3) The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.
- nag-explain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.
- 4) Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!
Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.
- 5) "It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!"
- Inday, kasama si Junior sa principal's office.
- 6) Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!
Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.
Amo: (nosebleed)
- 7) Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!
- si Inday, pinagbabawalan ang mga bata na maglikot.
- 8)Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can't understand you for doing so.
- sagot ni Inday kung bakit umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.
- 9) "To forrestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request. Petition denied."
- reply ni Inday nang i-text ni dodong kung pwede sya maging txtmate.
- 10) "good sir! please, but i'm disinclined to acquiesce to your uncouth request!"
(translation: kuya, wag po!)